I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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