I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You peed on a flamingo?!?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
