I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Someone signed my nipple.
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