I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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