I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
