The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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