just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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