You can't motorboat a personality
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
