Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
