Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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