Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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