i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm always down for nudity.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
