i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
