I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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