saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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