Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
