come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
