I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
