Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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