Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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