and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
