we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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