God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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