dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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