i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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