Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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