An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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