i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
