Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
