I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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