if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
