My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
