oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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