Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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