I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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