she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
