My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize