Life is so much better after having sex.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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