And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
