Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
