how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
