So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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