he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
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Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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