why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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