Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
