Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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