He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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