where am i from again
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
