I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
