just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
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I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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