Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
