Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
