he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize