My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
