Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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