If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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