bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
