i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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