look no pants
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
