I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
As shirtless as possible
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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