Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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