Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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