Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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