I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
