Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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