My first STD was from a foam party
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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